He said, she said
Jeremy Boutin & Gianna Rocchio
Anchor Staff & A&L Editor
“In my relationship I have started to see a problem regarding social media. I find that we both utilize it way too often when together and it causes unnecessary stress and strain on our relationship, especially when we like photos or follow people of the opposite gender. Any advice?”
-Need to get unplugged
Hey “Need to get unplugged,”
You need to get off the grid! The Internet can seem like a rabbit hole for our generation to explore and get lost. I’m sure all of us have had an unintentional Internet bender at 3 a.m. with Facebook, YouTube, memes, and whatnot. A major red flag is when social media starts to strain your relationship with your boyfriend. You should take a weekend or a day trip with your boyfriend with no electronics. I know this may sound impossible, but if you both want to make your relationship to work, it is worth a shot. You don’t have to go to a pricey resort or crazy vacation–just spend time together and realize why you two are together. You could take a road trip to New Hampshire or Cape Cod and talk through your problems.
The second issue in your question was the idea of trust and jealousy. If you two are having issues when one of you simply likes another girl/boy’s photo, you need to work on trust. On your get-away, you two need to discuss the idea of trust and realize that you are together for a reason, not to just simply change your relationship status on Facebook. It might be that your relationship has greater issues than just social media and you might rekindle that flame that might seem lost. Regardless of the result, you two need to come to a consensus and work together. I’m confident that, together, you will both not only have the time of your life away from social media but also become stronger than ever.
The conflict caused by social media in relationships is something very new. Our generation is the first to start navigating the opportunities of technology. A lot of the time, we don’t even realize how much we’re active online. Not only do we rely on social media, but we rely on how other people see us–especially those we care about. Considering how much we use social media, the situation can turn toxic pretty quickly.
To ease the tensions with your boyfriend, it’s clear that you two need boundaries with your phones and with each other. When the two or you spend time together, make it a point to limit how much you are both on your phones. Agree to take breaks of 20 or 30 minutes together to play a videogame or cook dinner. Watch a movie and put your phones away, first person to break and use their phone has to order pizza. Simple things like that can make the stress of being without your phone much more bearable. Since you both have a problem with social media, it will strengthen your relationship to work through it together.
The tougher aspect of your question is going to take some more time to get through. Jealousy is a hard thing to deal with, especially with the constant stream of ultra-enhanced photos of other people on your phone. Jealousy is also indicative of some much deeper problems either personally or within your relationship. Whatever these problems are, saying them out loud and engaging with your boyfriend about how you feel will help you more easily get a grasp on them.
You got this,