Twenty somethings date for crap
If the switch to the nonverbal communication form of texting has had any negative effects on interpersonal relationships, it’s that all of the rules of dating have been completely thrown out the window. In middle and high schools, classmates have had entire relationships solely through instant messaging and then later through texting without ever once hitting the dinner-and-a-movie scene. Therefore, it may have been delusional to think that twenty-somethings would be better than fifteen year olds at asking each other out.
Asking someone to “hang out sometime” with no preset time, date or activity is not asking someone out on a date. Nor is spending twenty minutes via text trying to pin down a time, place and activity. If you are asking someone out on date, have a plan and follow through; it shows interest and a little forethought. Remember, preparedness is attractive.
Dates do not occur during the hours of 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. This means no brunch, no lunch, and no early dinners. There is nothing sexy about pancakes and eggs unless it’s the morning after a really good night out.
Asking someone to a party you’re throwing is not a date. This is the kind of invite you throw out to your friends or someone you’re vaguely familiar with in an effort to get more people to show up at your house with beer and chips. It’s especially not a date if the person you’re inviting to the party won’t know anybody at said party.
Finally, and most importantly, asking someone out on the same day as said date is offensive. Texting someone at 7 p.m. on a Friday and asking them to hang out in an hour shows no regard for the other person. Treating someone you’re interested in as a last minute choice or an afterthought isn’t how you’re going to get them to be interested in you in return.
Dating should not be an easily-skipped practice. The rules aren’t all that complicated, yet so many people are forgoing the entire experience for a less personal and quicker variation. The whole point of dating is to spend time with someone in whom you’re interested in a romantic setting. Dating isn’t about doing “friend” things in low pressure environments. It’s the strain and the uncomfortableness of trying to navigate eating a cheeseburger in front of the person you’re trying to impress that will grow a relationship or not. To get to know someone in that setting is vital to deciding if you even want a relationship with the other person. No matter how many hours are spent texting or FaceTiming, a relationship will never begin to really develop and grow until there’s good old fashioned face-to-face contact. No matter how advanced technology gets or how real it all feels, computers will never be able to replicate that first date kind of experience.